Personal finance management is never a hot topic on a first date.
Unless you are a pair of financial managers. In which case the conversation is possible – but still not hot.
So when the topic is finally raised – how much do you actually tell your partner about your personal financial position?
My last relationship was with a guy who was very financially sensible. While I, on the other hand, was deep in debt. The knowledge of this financial disparity made me feel:
A) Ashamed of my financial state of affairs
B) Afraid to be honest about how much debt I was actually in
C) Worried about how I would ever pay it off without effecting the lifestyle we both had together.
When the relationship ended quite abruptly – nothing to do with money, everything to do with the fact he was a cheating %^&*- I was gutted.
But in my efforts to salvage any positive from the situation, I began to realise the relationship breakdown and my subsequent launch into singledom presented me with an opportunity.
An opportunity to make whatever changes necessary to maximise my debt repayments. I could move in and live with my parents. I could live a verrrrrryyy lean – bordering on boring! – social life for as long as it took to repay the debt. I could say no to holidays.These choices would affect no one but me.
Trying to do these things while with my ex would have effected our relationship. I am someone who likes to pay my way – and I would never expect a partner to pay for me to maintain a current lifestyle while I sorted out my debt.
The end of the relationship really freed me up to make these changes in my life. And I am taking advantage of that.
Relationship breakdowns are tough. We have all been there. Cried like you would never stop. Ate cake and icecream long after you should have stopped. And just generally felt like things wouldn’t get better.
But I really encourage you to;
A) step away from that icecream and cake (it’s your 6th slice already!)
B) Take absolute hold of new opportunities – financial or otherwise – that can (WILL!!!) come your way after a break up.
When one door closes,..another one
eats more icecream and cake opens 🙂